One in a Bouquet of Lilies from Nate
My once calm, predictable, structured, organized (sort of) life has imploded into a haphazard heap of breast pads, binkies, steri-strips, nipple creams, changing pads and hand sanitizer dispensers. The only thing holding anything together is my post-c-section abdominal girdle and even that is starting to lose its taut elasticity. But oh my, my, do I love this new life. It is absolutely illogical to love this sort of mayhem, but I do. Physically, I feel like the burdens have been heaped upon me in generous portions, but I suppose every new mother feels as much. Has anyone before me thought to compare herself to Job? 12 staples to hold my belly together. Intense incisional burning with every change of position. And did you know that they actually remove the uterus from your stomach and massage and clean it during a cesarean section? I discovered that gruesome reality when I inquired of my dear anaesthesiologist whether they were stitching me up at the end of my surgery. In response, she kindly whispered, “No. No, honey, your uterus is actually sitting on top of your abdomen right now…you wouldn’t want them to stitch you up without putting that back first.” Oh. Right.
Getting back to the physical burdens — for me, the most intense ones come with nursing. Suckling a child through nipples that feel like they’re being whittled with a pocket knife at each feeding has seriously tested my commitment to breast feeding. I think that ever-so-delicate bacteria/yeast balance was disturbed by the post-op IV antibiotics I received. I ended up with what I’m fairly certain was a yeast infection on both nipples. But we pressed on in grim determination, breast pump in hand, ointments aplenty, Curity Pads stashed in every shelf and corner. And after four days of exclusive pumping and religious hygiene/care, we are finally nursing in a manner I believe even La Leche League could smile upon.
Even in spite of all the nuisances and pain (some of which I have omitted here to protect the delicate sensibilities of whom ever might read this post partom diatribe) *and this is the illogical part* I am a little bit intoxicated with the magic of this time. I want to go back to beautiful Baylor hospital and start this whole process again. Tomorrow. I want to do this ten more times. And I am not “that girl,” (”that girl” being the one who bears a child biannually, who has been gestating or nursing for twelve years consecutively, and wants to hold everyone else’s infant when she doesn’t have one of her own. I’m not her.) But right now, the declaration I would wheeze from beneath the proverbial weight of the pain and emotion and delirium is:
“I want.
To do.
This again.”
How’s that for crazy?
I have seven hundred more things to write about. But they’ll have to come in gradual succession. There is so much about Lily and her birth and this transitional time of our lives that I want to chronicle, so I’m going to try to do it in short-ish installments. Stay tuned for the following:
* Three Days in the Hospital
* My Mother-in-law
* Henry: The Evolution from Only Child to Big Brother
* Lily: How do I love thee? And how did it happen so quickly?
* Ode to Nate: Man o’ the Year (are we sick of those yet?)
And in the mean time, what’s your best breast-feeding advice?
My best advice:
1. If it hurts you are doing it wrong
2. Read Kellymom religiously
3. If you need help, go to an IBCLC lactation consultant and not a doctor.
3. The first 7 weeks are the hardest, if you can last through them the rest is easy.
4. Love that baby up!
Sorry I don’t have any breast feeding advice for you Emily…both my babies were preemies and I had a (good) breast pump and that was my friend….3 months for Emma and 6 months for Andrew. You’re doing a great job, but I wish I had more practical advice for you. For us it didn’t work…but the pump did!
If you’re not already using it, Lansinoh is the only thing that gets me through those first few months of breastfeeding (I also think their nursing pads are the best on the market). For yeast infections/thrush, I think the Target off-brand antifungal cream is just dandy–literally a tenth of the price of the name brand stuff (I think the actual drug name is Lotrimin? whatever it is that you’re supposed to use for athlete’s foot).
I also suggest reading stories to the older child while nursing the younger, if possible. It made the first few months a LOT easier in terms of that only child transition, I think (although now Juliet is so finicky about nursing that we have to be in an absolutely silent environment, door closed, special blanket clutched in both fists).
Good luck! And I love this stage too. I hate not sleeping and all the pain and weird fluids and diapers, but I adore teeny babies (and I love being at the hospital where someone else is washing the dishes and making the beds).
Quicky introduction. Trina Brumble gave me your blog when she set mine up. I am a Medford 2nd ward gal. Here is my advice after five kids..I don’t mean to say I am an expert… just been there, screwed up a lot. I had yeast infections on both breasts as well and it would transfer from baby’s mouth back to my breast..back and forth. You get the idea. The doctor gave me a liquid Niastatin (I think) for my baby’s mouth and then I would spread some of that on my breasts and let it air dry. Change your nursing pads often. You might also get the yeast infection elsewhere if you know waht I’m saying…watch for that. Also your sweet baby might get it on her bum as well, watch for that. They can prescribe a Niastatin cream for her bum. As for breast feeding every baby can latch differently causing different problems from child to child. Pain does not always mean you are doing it wrong. It can take a good three weeks to toughen up those girls. I saw a lactation consultant with a few of my babies and it was helpful. The hospital might have one and the pediatrician might. My doctor was zero help. There are nipple shields that you can buy that are a soft plastic that you put right on your nipple and Lilly can latch right on to them and it will decrease your pain significantly!!! I would bleed and cry and cry and bleed. I would rather run sandpaper across them. And finally I am one of those girls as well and I would get some sort of high after having a baby. I was addicted to having babies. There are times I cry because I know I will never have another. Congratulations she is beautiful! Take advantage of all help that is available to you. This is your time to be served.
Breastfeeding advice? It can hurt, especially if you have a yeast infection, but hang in there. It will get better. My experience was the hospital was a great source to recommend lactation consultants. My pediatrician–bless his heart–recommended formula.
Your baby is so darling it almost makes me want to do it all over again and I’m old and done.
Finally, you know a massage after childbirth sounds heavenly, but not that kind of massage. I hope they didn’t charge you extra for that. *wink*
Best wishes!
Oh gosh…I feel funny giving you advice since I am pretty new ant the whole breastfeeding thing and you are on your second….but I will say that it does not mean that you are doing it wrong if it hurts…at least for the first week or so. I used to tell moms that all the time in the NICU before I had actually done it. Some people just have very sensitive nipples and there is no amount of repositioning that is going to change that. I remember wondering in the first week of nursing if it would ever NOT hurt. And it did (not hurt) after a week or two. Just hang in there…and don’t be afraid to air those puppies out. I felt like that helped. Also…And I realize this may not be an option for you at this post surgery point, but nursing in the bath is like the best thing ever. You are relaxed, the baby is relaxed, and your milk just seems to let down better.
Also watch your baby to make sure you are not passing the thrush back and forth. She may need an oral med to clear it up.
Lily is just a doll. and you are not crazy. I was at the mall today and found myself shopping for maternity clothes. I kind of miss being pregnant already. I think I have forgotten the nausea. Anyway, I am glad you are loving this time.
i don’t have much advice as i’ve only been doing this for 12 days. somehow i lucked out with a baby that nurses great and a very abundant milk supply. i could seriously feed twins with these geysers! i second the lansinoh nursing pads. they are my best friends lately. also, i’ve been keeping a book nearby to read while nursing. and sorry about the no caps–i’m typing one-handed as i breastfeed asher.
I’m SO glad you asked this question, because inquiring minds of course want to know. I’ll find out soon enough I guess…
So glad you are healing well. Can’t wait for more stories and pictures. I just want to love on her!
My breastfeeding advice has to do with taking care of yourself. When I was nursing Joshua, I don’t think I was consuming enough calories, because I kept getting sick (mastitis twice and strep throat three times before he was six months) - obviously you’re not sleeping great with a newborn, so your immune system’s already worn down. But make sure you are eating well, keep taking your prenatals and drink lots!
Emily,
Loved your post. I feel the exact same way about wanting 10 more babies because of the sheer joy of having a newborn. oh it’s so wonderful!!!!!! I’m so happy for you.
I feel your pain about the c-section pain. Ouch! It will get better very soon I’m sure.
Breastfeeding advice: I agree with danielle, just because it hurts doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. That could be an indication of a poor latch, but sometimes it just plain hurts. I know it hurt for me nursing my twins for almost three months.
Thankfully, this time it was only about 3 weeks of a lot of nursing pain. How can such a gummy mouth feel like it is full of razor blades?
Congratz again on such a beauty and such a love for life!
Lansinoh … if you don’t have it - GET IT … the best stuff EVER for sore nipples! and stick in there girl - it gets better!
Never give up! It will work out in the end and be so worth it. I would totally be a wet nurse, if I could. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE nursing. LOVE it.
And I’m not one of those girls, either.
I want to come back to Dallas to be with Emily the most beautiful post-baby mother I have EVER seen , with Nate who made my heart swell with pride as I watched him loving his darling family, with Henry who sword-fights like none other and who told me that “he brings me great joy” and Lily our baby angel who has stolen all of our hearts. I am “in love” with all of you and I miss each of you desperately. Thank you for memories I will cherish forever. Nana
So, relatively long-time reader (lurker), first time commenter :). Love your writing first of all. Love it. Secondly, I feel the same way about breastfeeding as you described feeling in general right now–it’s been traumatic but I’m in love with it. I basically lost, that’s right–lost, –my left nipple due to a bad latch, etc. Anyway, not to be depressing, but it’s still not all the way healed, though it’s getting close (!). I’ve also just finished my second bout of mastitis. So, I can give advice on how to nurse through pain. And the main (OCD) thing I do is count. It usually hurts less after 25 sucks and it helps to know that.
Now that you think I’m crazy, have you tried Newman’s ointment? I couldn’t live without it the first 6 weeks. It has an anti-fungal and anti-bacterial agent in it and some light steroids to help with healing. You have to get a prescription, but my midwives just called one in over the phone. I also went to a lactation consultant a week out, which was the best thing I ever did. I had read all the books and had nurses show me how to position my daughter, but the fine-tuning the consultant gave made a huge difference. She also told me about gentian violet, which is a non-prescription natural–bright purple–liquid that you put on your nipples and I think inside the baby’s mouth to clear up yeast. It cleared up the infection I had going really quickly.
And, when it gets really bad, just remember how lovely it is to hear those sweet sucks and feel those two little hands roaming around, patting your back and nestling in, with that soft body curled around yours. It’s heaven, even if it hurts.
Sorry, one more thing–if you have to take antibiotics again for any reason, try taking acidophilus (in yogurt or available at a healthfood store) to keep good bacteria in your system to fight off yeast.
What a sweet post. I feel the same way about my babies. And nursing is just the best, once you get through those first few weeks. Good for you for continuing on in spite of the pain! Good luck!
CONGRATULATIONS! (ON THE BABY, NOT THE YEAST INFECTION). My best advice is to just take it one day at a time. I literally said out loud, “ok. i can do this for one more day.” and soon, 1 day became 7, then a month, and now i’m 10 weeks out and it’s totally fine and pain free!
My advice is simple and has already been stated. Lansinoh is the way to go - pads. creams, ointments, etc. Also, just don’t give up. As “natural” as breastfeeding is, it is the hardest thing I’ve had to figure out. It took several weeks for my baby and I to get into a good rhythm.
Good luck! We are all rooting for you and your growing family!
Advice. Get the yeast infection treated. I used the stuff they prescribe for thrush directly on my nipples. Treat the baby too.
Lansinoh is fine, but air and breast milk work better. Express (gently squeeze out) a drop or two of milk after the baby is done, and spread over your nipple, then leave it exposed to air for as long as is practical. Comfrey root ointment is miraculous. Use it after the breast milk application dries.
Make sure that the baby is in a good position, with her hip and shoulders all facing you in a straight line. No twisting. Think “my (upper) tummy to his tummy.”
Make sure the baby is 100% on the areola (the whole nipple area) and not just on the nipple.
Detach the baby from your nipple by breaking the suction first using your finger gently in the corner of her mouth. Every time. No exceptions.
You can try feeding on only one side per feeding. Giving your baby a chance to get the hind-milk in the one breast and giving each breast twice as long without any contact.
Good luck. It sounds like you are doing a great job. You can email me if you need to.
I couldn’t decide what gender your baby was so I flip-flopped. But now I see she is a beautiful girl. Pardon the boy words.
ADORE this post. It makes me happy to know you are so blissful.
Okay, as for advice: wash your boobies with anti-bac (I did this after having multiple rounds of Mastitis) after you nurse and change your nursing pads regularly.
Well I agree about Lansinoh ointment, but I think Johnson nursing pads are the best (they carry them at Target). I love them because they are contoured and have an adhesive and i just feel like I am less crinkly and obviously wearing nursing pads with that brand, you know? Anyway. The first couple weeks just HURT. I can remember the toe-curling pain with Rog and I would just scream or whimper or cry every time he latched on. And then I would bleed. And then all of the sudden I was nursing comfortably. Bless your heart, the whole infection business is more than what I had, but anyway, you get my point about how it will feel fine soon! I let Blaine watch movies when I nurse Rog because otherwise he climbs all over me which is just too many little bodies on me! Sometimes books work, sometimes not. And, as you know, I’m a big advocate for movies in the wee hours. I figure as long as I have to be awake for an hour I might as well be awake with Colin Firth. I love you and love your dedication to nursing and your intoxication with this whole experience. I have been BLOWN AWAY at how quickly time has passed this second time. I’m glad you’re reveling. Loves.
I am with you — the beginning is so hard, yet it’s my absolute favorite thing to have a new baby. And I wouldn’t necessarily consider myself a baby person, just love MY babies. I’ve never had a C-section nor a yeast-infected nipple though. Yikes. My sympathies. Someone told me to put a hot, wet tea bag on each nipple each time I nursed for the first few weeks, and I swear I was less sore with that baby than with the others. I’ve read that it’s an old wives tale, but I think the heat might help as much as the tea with the soreness. Worth a try. My other thing about nursing is to try to help the baby really fill up, then don’t nurse constantly. Some people let their babies snack all day, and then you just get sore, and they never really get full. A fussy baby who just nursed well is probably tired, not hungry. Good luck. Glad you are appreciating this sweet time, even though it’s hard.
Em-
So excited for you! It has been a long time and I don’t think that I ever had problems with yeast infections but…just for something that feels really soothing…I was told to put warm, moist black tea bags over the nipples for pain relief. I remember that it really did feel good but don’t know if it did any good! Good luck! Hang in there!
First off, congratulations on your beautiful daughter arriving healthy & happy!
The best breast feeding advice I got was “if it hurts, you are doing it wrong.” Sounds to the point & not very sweet- but really, I believe this to be true. I thought of it as a learning process for both Sebastian and I. If it hurt at all, I immediately took him off & allowed him to latch on again and again until it felt bearable. We found our groove within a few weeks & things didn’t go astray until I went back to work (which you won’t have to worry about). Also, I swear by Lanolin cream- I used two tubes worth in the first month alone. Good luck!
Well, I obviously don’t have breastfeeding advice, I just wanted to thank you for the enlightening information about what happens to your uterus during a C-section. Not that is matters, but I think I’m glad I know that. That’s all. Congratulations, she is SO beautiful! I’m excited to meet her… eventually!
It must feel so good to have such a wonderful cheering section of women who are willing to share their thoughts and advice. Lovely, lovely post. Reveling in the joy is just the thing to do. I am looking forward to reading each of the 100 posts to come!
I won’t say that I’m an expert, but I’ve nursed 4 kids (all c-sections) for at least 15 months, the last being 2 1/2 when we stopped (and I’m not one of THOSE ladies that nurses a toddler;)
Breastfeeding is one of those things that is difficult at first, but gets easier after a while.
I will suggest Lansinoh (along with the others. I started using it before my second baby was born, and I think it made things a bit easier than after my first. Also, expressed breast milk and air drying are always good too.
I saw a lactation consultant with my first three babies, each baby was different, and nursed differently. My first son had a short tongue, which made nursing painful for quite a while, even though I was doing everything correctly. It’s been my experience that it is the most painful for the first two weeks, after that it gets better.
I also used “Soothies” they are a gel pad that you can put in the refrigerator and then on your sore nipples, and they really help, especially for the yeast infection. (yikes! those can be painful!) I got them at a local breastfeeding store, but I bet you could find them online. You can use them more times than it says on the package.
Also, watch out for mastitis. If you have a sore spot on your breast and are running a fever, call your doctor. I was almost put back in the hospital because of mastitis.
Someone suggested reading to the toddler while you are feeding the baby. If this works, GREAT! If not, might I suggest buying every Blue’s clues video you can find (check ebay) because one video is exactly long enough to feed the baby.
Trust me on this one;0)
Good luck with the nursing. Hang in there.
Your baby is beautiful! There’s nothing sweeter than having a newborn in the house.